What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize