I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
