So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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