5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
