Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
