thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
