I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
