dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
