you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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