I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
