I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
