1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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