You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
