New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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