just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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