Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
