Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
