And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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