Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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