It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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