some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
