Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
