I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
