I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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