I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
