brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Drake has all the answers
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
