kristin has been a bad kristin
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
