I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
