I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
