My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
