You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
