My brain says no but my pants say off.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
