can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
