Umm I'm too high to move.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
