Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
