They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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