new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
