i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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