its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
