i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize