Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
