Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
