Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
