He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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