kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
