My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
