went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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