don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
