my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
