I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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