Your dad touched me again.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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