she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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