I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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