If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize