I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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