so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I could make wine with my vomit
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
