what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
