You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
