You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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