so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
