did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
